Meaning

It's been a long while since I had last visited the night scene of Singapore. Last night, I did, with an old friend. He somehow led me to a history lesson of my own life, without knowing it.

I guess, some things never change. But I guess, I did. It was a good nostalgic time looking at myself of what I used to do in the past from a different view.

As Ecclesiastes aptly puts it. Everything is meaningless. There is only one thing that is not. Now, I know that even better.

O My Valentine's!

What did I do on this supposedly most romantic day of the year?

1. Stare at my excel spreadsheets, did my Vlookups, MID, DATEVALUE functions.

2. Went to the gym in the afternoon, and to experience what I had always projected in my mind - WHAT IF, the showers do not work! lol. It happened. I had to mop clean today. No wonder I didn't sweat much. It was for a reason! Phew

3. Rushed to finish my spreadsheets, which didn't happen. Dropped my work at 630pm, to attend bowling practice with 2 of my colleagues. That coach was theoretical! Very theoretical!

4. Finally, ending off the night with my colleague driving me back to the video shop near my place to grab a dvd which was needed for work tomorrow. Apparently, the two dvds that we had required were not found in HMV, Borders, TS, Laser Flair and etc, but in the humble abode of a neighbourhood Video shop! He definitely owes me one this time round!

5. As I had my dinner at 10pm, something flashed across my mind. The farewell of a particular manager. She was giving thanks to God for the blessings that she had received, and also the blessings that she managed to give to the people around her. She is definitely heading for a higher calling. As I always say, this is an organisation where I can see people who work for the passion that they have in it. Nothing can bring them away from the work which they will always profess that they are "called for". A calling, is indeed higher than a job. Once your job is your calling, you make a great difference. I have seen many lives like that in this place. No matter how "terok" the situation, if you believe you are called to the purpose of work in the place you are, it makes all that difference.

She mentioned to a few of us that it's God opening the doors for her to go to another place to make a difference. It may not be a big difference, but as long as she is able to, she is happy. As I traced back my thoughts further to 2007, her life might have been very different today if her supervisor had chosen a different track for her (I was involved in this part), but because of her manager's decision not to, she is still a "free" woman today to decide to leave for another purpose in her life. Indeed, God's plans, is impeccably intricate. Everything is woven so beautifully, perfectly, and precisely. A single "wrong" step would have meant a particular milestone in life being not able to happen. This is one great example I have seen for myself. This really made me fall in love again with my perfect lover of all time. The one and only, whom I can totally trust in.

What a memorable Valentine's!

CNY

Every CNY eve, I feel like a maid, I work like a maid, and definitely look like one. =p
But, I do enjoy housework! It's therapeutic!

What was I doing? Well straight after work, buy lunch for the hungry people at home, then started to clean the sty, after that, start to do the cutting, slicing, washing of the raw food, then dinner! Nope, it doesn't end here. Then wash dishes, sweep floor (for the last time before the clock strikes 12), then mop!

As the clock strikes twelve - Salvation and that sense of liberation finally arrives! Kiddin!

I tried to wake at 8am this morning. That was ambitious. After much negotiation with my snooze button, it won me at 9am.

Began Lunar New Year with a good run this morning.

Afterwhich, my aunt, uncle, cousins, nephews and my newly added niece came to visit! My niece reminded me of when I was young.... I shan't say what aspect of it!

Then it dawned on me....my Grandma, is now Great-grandma of three! *gasp* It took darn long for reality to set in. Ha ha.

Next up....more visitations!

It all Started with Good Morning!

My eyes barely opened, it was more like a slit. I pressed the alarm off my handphone, and the numbers that peered back at me was 06:10. Alarm bells went off, I scrambled to the bathroom, and out of it in a dash. In lightning speed I was out of the main door of my house, only to rummage through my belongings to find that my ticket onto the bus wasn't in it. There goes another dash back into the house, and finally out.

I reached the bus stop at 06:25. Now I know I can get out of the house within 15 minutes. But I don't want to try that again! The bus came at 06:40. Now, I realized that I wasn't the only one late. It was supposed to have arrived at 06:30.

I reached my office building, walked into the lift, in a semi-dazed state, and was clearing my sms inbox.

"Good Morning!", a voice reverberated through the lift.

I thought they just turned on the radio station louder or something, or he who walked into the lift was speaking to the guy behind me. Then I realized, I was wrong. The conversation continued to talking about going to the gym ( I was in my gym wear), and so on so forth. I bade him goodbye.. ...

Until I walked out of the gym again..this time round, he went, "That's fast!"
My thoughts were, "Hmm....you again?!" (Disclaimer: Not in disgust)
I just uttered," Yeah...you going for your ward rounds?"
"Yep!"
And I left it at that. If I bump into him a third time today.. .. I think, I should ask for his name. IF.. ..

Seldom you get people so chirpy in the morning. This's one for you.
Yet, it made the day more lively. Just a simple "Good Morning!"

"Good Morning! Abba Father!"

Visit to T3

Like most other fellow country men who ran out of ideas for entertainment, Grandma, bro and me trotted down to T3 for lunch and sight - seeing.

That's me and my beautiful Grandma with the backdrop of the T3 Transit Lounge behind us.

Seeing Beyond What You See

These past days are interesting. Be it in my experiences with people and reading God's truth.

All the things that God spoke to me was basically pivoting upon this verse which I remember:
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

What I read this morning in John 6 speaks of feeding the 5000. Once again, looking beyond the resources that we have, and allowing God to multiply and do His wonders.

As I sense circumstances upcoming, His faith and peace is the key to my life. Once again, it's such moments like these, that I am grateful. Grateful for a moment with my Heavenly Father, who ever so lovingly prepares my heart and mind for things. As long as I listen, He is always there.

A tribute once again, to the unfolding of the third year of this blog - Moments Like These.

Are You Sure?

I was at my bus stop waiting for the bus to bring me to my dinner.

Standing next to me was this mother and daughter pair. Two indian girls in their saris. The girl was about 8 years of age. The mother was around her late 30s. She had her head covered in a scarf, and was looking apprehensive.

The young girl then walked towards me and asked," Does the service number 228 go to Bedok Interchange?"

I replied," Yes, it does!"

She asked again,"Are you sure?"

I wanted to jump! I have been staying here for the past 21 years, and you are asking me "are you sure?"

At that same split second. The other thought came to me. I just exclaimed to my brother and dad who were next to me,"This girl is smart!"

At the next moment, another thought dawned on me. This girl is really cynical. For a girl of her age, she does not trust the stranger. A bus drove up, stopped, and she asked the bus driver, "Does this bus go to Bedok Interchange?" Only when the bus driver gave the affirmative, did she lead her mother to board.

This simple incident led me to a few lessons:

#1: Never take things at face value (Management lesson)
It is always better to check, and double check.

#2: It never hurts to be more inquisitive (Another management lesson)
If you don't know the whole picture, ask more.

#3: Trust or lack of trust
It is really difficult to place your trust in people these days. It is something to be thankful for when you have people whom you can trust.

#4: Trusting God in everything
Just as I am more than 100% sure that the bus is going to Bedok, God is more than 100% sure about the steps that I am taking, and will be taking in my life. "Are you sure?" is a statement that is very cutting to the heart to someone who knows the situation well. I was taken aback by that comment. At the same time, I thought, God must have been very upset at each time I ask him "Are you sure?" in the many things in my life. He knows everything, created me, and loves me so much. Yet, doubt is always the thorn that comes in to ruin the whole relationship. Yes, I know I asked Him a particular question ever so often. This is the answer to it. To trust Him in what He is going to do in my life. Because, simply, He is sure. Affirmative.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Cheers, 2007!

Two Zero Zero Seven! We have come to the very last of you, and it's time to move on to 2008!

Through the hours of the year, you've been a companion with me through the following times:

January - March: Spring was a time which taught me the expectations in friendships. It taught me when to say certain things, and when not to, when to pursue something, and when to give up, when to be stubborn, and when to be relenting, when to cry and when to save those tears.

April - June: Summer taught me the focus of my career. The importance of speaking up for your fellow comrades, the importance of watching your own back, whilst still keeping the integrity of what God has always instituted in love. It brought me challenges and milestones that were created in the course of my work.

July - September: Autumn taught me the harshness and bitterness of life, that can sap our souls if we are not careful. The importance of guarding our hearts above all else. It also taught me how to lead, to learn, to laugh and overcome greater challenges in the entwinement of emotions and goals.

October - December: Winter taught me to strengthen the ties that matter. Family, close friends and acquaintances. It brought me the reunion of friends from afar. It also allowed me to experience the immense joy of seeing someone who is dear come to cross the line of salvation, and another who had never liked to attend service come to attend the Christmas service.

Lastly, to end off 31 December 2007. This is to God:

My greatest companion, confidante, counsellor, closest and most intimate friend. Thank you for your watching me every step of the way, giving me the inner strength to smile at the storms, to laugh at the mistakes, and the vitamin booster to keep going to pursue the purpose that you have instituted for me. Without you, there wouldn't be a fruitful 2007, kudos to you God! Cheers, on giving me a memorable 2007, and continuing on the journey with me to 2008!

Consternation & Pain

For the past six years, I have been learning to stay away from being disillusioned, panicky and bewildered.

At times I suceed, at times I fail. It all depends on how much heart I place in putting His words into my soul, and how often I hang it on my mouth. Do I hold those words like a beautiful plaque of affirmation, or do I hide those words in my heart, but never dare to bring them out, and proudly proclaim?

I am amazed in how negative I am at times, and how at other times I hold on to promises as though I am walking on rainbows. Why do the rainbows seem to stop, when I do not want them to?

There are some dreams, that can be fulfilled, and some dreams that can never be fulfilled. There are times where panic attacks come. The sudden anxiety that doesn't seem to go away comes. The "to-do" list that never ever seem to end. The time that always ticks away so quickly.

The faces of people who are so dear to me, and how I wish that they will always be around...but always fearing that they will someday be gone.

Today, this thought came to me. There are some people whom I love and others whom I want to love, but I know I may never be loved in return. Will I be able to keep on loving?

1 Jn 4:19
We love because he first loved us.

Sense of Euphoria

Euphoria - a feeling of happiness, confidence, or well-being sometimes exaggerated in pathological states as mania.

Sometimes, I find myself in such a state. Interestingly, I don't know why. One thing I know though, whenever I come to this state, I know that the other state of near depression will be upcoming. It is just that extreme.

What causes the swing? To know that you initially feel so good, so confident about something, or someone. After a while, one starts to fear...fear the loss that is impending...fear the uncertainty that can happen anytime. Everything starts to erode the euphoric state, and a state of being gripped by uncertainty sets in...leading to the extreme of depression.

I guess, that's how a mind without the framework of God's words, and the assurance of Him works. It is just that fragile. We can be all loony and high in a while, and in the next spilt second, we just crumble under the weight of all the "what ifs". Gosh, life is really hard without Him, and His assurance.

Seven Things About 7 October 2007

Tacky title? Wait till you see the post! =p

Today was a really hilarious day. It's been such a long while since I laughed so hard, at myself, and my bunch of crazy sistas! Thank you to all three of you who made the first birthday celebration of 2007 helluva memorable one!

One. Ger, SR, Rach and I met at VivoCity. We had dim sum together at the foodcourt. Only to find out that the dim sum stall only had like 3 kinds of dim sum. The auntie who manned the stall was like reciting a rhyme about the only FEW kinds of dim sum she had left. We still bought, nonetheless.

Two. Ger, SR, Rach and I went to Marche. Let's see, we had salmon belly crepe, mushroom crepe, chicken cheese sausage, rossti with pork sausage, calamari, mixed mushrooms, mixed vegetables, spanish rice, yoghurt, orange juice, lime juice and ginger beer....did I get all that correct?

Three. We decided to go and take a ride on the Cable Car. We reached there, to see no one in sight...until we approached the counter....then we were looking at the pricing - $20 for see-through bottom cable car; $13.90 for covered. Someone asked aloud,"What's the diff ah?" We all burst out in laughter...including the counter girl...THANK GOD it was only those few of us! Once again, we always bring "joy" to people around us.

Four. We set off in the cable car....and the first question was "why so slow?"....no prizes for guessing who asked.

Five. We reached Sentosa...we couldn't find the exit out of the station, until 10 minutes later?....and someone fell in love with the Merlion.

Six. Someone kept emphasising that we should get back by 9pm, because that's the time where the four or five flights of escalators UP to the cable car station stops functioning...

Seven. We wanted to go to a beach bar, but we took the wrong beach tram...when we took the right one, we were the only ones on the bus, and we started our chat with the uncle...only to get suanned in return, and to realize that that bar was non existent on Sunday nites....

Okay, I realize I can't stop at Seven.

What happened at the end, we settled down at Coastes. Had some margaritas...didn't get drunk...and we went back home in a limou cab! Rach started chatting with the uncle, asked him the longs and shorts, and eventually asked if he had any movies! We watched Mr Bean's Holiday on the limou cab! Oh...and it ended off we me being the last one to get off....only to get a prep talk from the Uncle about whether to get married of not to! Oh my gosh!

What can I say? I got more out of the $28 (how auspicious!) cab fare than I bargained for!

As I said, this is the PRELUDE of the upcoming HK trip. God bless all those who will be coming in contact with us then! You've been warned - avoid us if you can't stand laughing, joking and nonsense!

Random Search!

I had a bit of nothing-to-do-ness this morning.

I ran a search on my name.....and....tah-dah....guess what I found?

Waiting for 5pm cos i got a date wif jeannie...
jeannie quek..
Currently a vry important person in my life...
She's my....
She's my..............
She's sum1 whos taking care of mybond deeds la... lol

One of my sponsored students actually wrote this on his blog....it's quite hilarious to me...haha =p

What's on my mind?

1. How to sniff out God's leading in life?
2. How to live a life that is not my own?
3. How to give my all in all that I do?

Paintings are pretty to people who have the lenses and understanding of it's background to appreciate it.

I find that it's the same for people. People are pretty to those who have the lenses and understanding of the person to appreciate the person for who he or she is, and hope for the best for him or her.

God always sees me as pretty, as his beauty, as his treasured being. He always tells me.

If all women knew this point, then beauty parlours would probably all be out of business, perhaps.

How do I honour the One who places me high upon His pedestal? In humility and trust, to follow His leading; having the confidence in Him, and knowing where to draw the line.

As I ramble on....

This blog has been up for some time. Besides putting across my thoughts, it has always been my hope that whoever visits this place, will also be drawn into the mood of contemplativeness. Thinking about what is life about, who they are, and what is the essence of it all. A time for all to come to face the mysteries of life, to see how they fit into the picture, and to seek the best for themselves and others.

That's the reason why "moments like these" are so important. Moments captured, are usually hard to forget. Such moments, keep us reminded of goodness, sadness, joy, peace, excitement, disappointments and so much more. Such moments, are non-exchangeable and non-refundable, but they add up to our wealth of experience. Such moments, can never be felt similarly as what you feel, by anyone else, but only yourself.

Hope Church 16th Anniversary

Hope Church's 16! Our pastors kids are now old enough to be emcees! We are old enough to... ....I shan't go there... ...

The three of us all over again - all in white...all being of service in the anniversary.

This anniversary was interesting also, because it's the FIRST time my blood actually boiled for a while during the serving process. Overall, it was a good learning opportunity throughout it all. (:

Why Our Paths Cross?

There are countless people I meet daily.

I walk pass them, and smile or nod my head, or just greet them "hello". I don't know their names. I only know that they are in my workplace for a purpose, and that purpose, of great probability is not pleasant.

All of us have the opportunity to meet different people daily. The only difference is whether we slow down to get to know them that tad bit better. To help them with that little something. As they stare blankly at the many words in front of the directory, wouldn't a nice warm voice help that bit more?

Sometimes, I walk past someone and that person's smile seem more like a smile, more like a smile that encompasses, "how are you, I hope you are well", there are those who smile, as though they want to eat you, yet, there are those who smile as though they want to pick you up, and of course, there are times when you wonder if that smile means that there's vege stuck between your teeth!

Whatever it is, a good connection between people is hard to achieve. When that happens, friends are found. Then a deeper connection goes on, and buddies are bred. Thereafter, if it goes another notch, who knows? Paths are crossed, friendships are created - by beginning with that smile, that nod, and the many words that come after.

That's one of the privileges we have as humans - the ability to connect cognitively....emotionally...

Camaraderie; Faith

Past week, I was busy working hard at two areas, work per se and a captain's ball match at my workplace. I was never a sports person when I was in my academic years. After two years of playing captain's ball in my organisation, I began to regret not being involved in sports when I was way way younger.

Thank God though, He allowed me to enjoy the bond and the experience of teaming up to play competitively with my fellow colleagues. This year, I experienced the sweetness of victory, and the bitterness of loss. The team was definitely closer after the game. It is little wonder sports brings people together. After work we trained together, during lunch hours, we trained together. It all brought our relationship with one another to another level. It is something that I treasure.

Through the entire competition, I realized one thing. Skill isn't the MOST important, camaraderie with your team mates is of greater importance. It's just like how it is emphasised that it is better to have a heart that is humble to learn, than to have knowledge and arrogance. The winning team this year had both - the ultimate combination. It's a valuable lesson brought smack right in front of me.

Another thought that came to me all this while also - how strictly do I want to adhere to the rules? Am I able to stomach the consequences of not sticking to the rules? This applies to all of my life.

Faith that comes beyond words, through actions and irregardless of emotions. Idealistic. Do I have to chase after ideals? Do I need to chase after ideals? Do i want, to chase after ideals?

MmmMmmm

Sun's rays shone through the glass panels of the roof, creating shadows on the floor. With each turn, those shadows seemed to turn on it's own axis.

The air filled with the smell of butterscotch cookies, candy floss and caramel flavoured popcorn.

The pace of the countryside life. The sounds of the tinklings of the candy machines, and the melodious tunes of the carousel.

The little girl twirled and twirled around the candy cane pole.

Her mother looked upon her, beaming, filled with pride to see her daughter being as cute as she can be.

Bliss.

Here I Go Again

After two short holidays, one to Redang, the other to Bintan, I am back in the race once again. It's just like a hamster, that keeps on going at the wheel, and seemingly goes nowhere, and at times, get tired, and just hops off the wheel (that's where holiday comes in), then after a while, decides to go back to the wheel and have another go at it again.

What an analogy. It is a very true fact of life though. That many are like this. Myself included. Though I plan and plan my life, seeking the direction and eventual destination, I still come to such a point some time in my life.

That's where I realize, I need to get out of the cage. It ain't just the wheel! Ha.

Been reviewing my life once again. And yes, there are new things I find out about myself. Some of it, I have better decide fast whether I want to still be the way I am, or whether I want to do something about it.

A random trivia - I realize I really lurve to sit on the bus, plugged into my mp3 and listen to some inspirational tunes that somehow or other make me lost in another world of my own, letting the lyrics bring me to fantasy island, and bringing me back....hmm...a pleasure of life.

Yes, that's what a typical working adult is like. Sometimes, it does sound quite sad. Is it? Or is it not? Hmm...

Reminisce

I came home from facial last night, had a late dinner, and slouched in my couch.

My mum suddenly excitedly came to me with a photo album. Yellow, slightly tattered at the corners, and definitely smelled of old, ruffled papers. Once in a while, she'd come up with something interesting for me to ponder over. Last night, was one of those nights.

"Hey, you look at this. Don't you think that my friend's face shape is just sooooooo different? She must have did something to her face!"

Yeah, her friend, is now my beautician.

They have been close friends for a long while. The thing that brought them apart - marriage, kids. Now that their kids are older, do they have time to sit down and talk. It's really that hard, I guess, for a typical person to upkeep friendship. Though this is something I don't really like, it's also something that I prepare myself mentally for.

As I watched them talk over coffee and toast two weeks back, each knowing each other's preferences, I thought of the coffee talks I have with my close friends. It's like watching life fast forward to 30 years on, and this is how it'd look like.

One thing I really found true-er and true-er now, is as a particular person once said," What you do before you are 30, determines what you would do after 30." Both of them have always been in the beauty line. The skincare regime has kept them youthful. I could see for myself one thing - maintenance, for a woman, is really important. The both of them didn't look "ah-sor". I really hope I'd be somewhat like them...aging gracefully.

Of course, spiritual and emotional health are more important, but nowadays, we look to holistic needs. All encompassing needs being met. Sounds a hefty feat.

Three Years On....

[a fren] says: hey hey
[a fren] says: help me see this photo
[a fren] says: and tell me wat is this gal's name
[a fren] says: she is on my right side in the photo. i bumped into her yday, and i can't remember her name.

This was my HRC convocation in 2004. 3 years on, and a typical conversation like that comes by. Do we really have no heart? Only 3 years, and we can't remember the names of some of the people whom we had studied with for 2 years.

Humans, really have some memories that we cannot forget, while we also have those that we cannot remember. We are just that interesting creatures. We are given the capability to remember, to feel, to experience, but sometimes, we just don't harness that capability.

I can't even remember things that are so dear to me at one point in time. Yet, it is something that I know I must do...especially things that I am to give thanks to God for. Gratefulness, is something very important. It brings everything back to perspective. It brings me back to knowing who I am, the rights I have as a human being, and who gave me this rights, who gave me this life, who gave me these opportunities in life..

It is a simple concept, but not a simple feat to keep doing it.

Just like this short conversation on people, our memories, if we didn't dwell a little more on it, then we would not be appreciative of the times we had together. That in the years of 2002 - 2004, our paths crossed, and that is something to be thankful for.