Christmas Weekend

This year's christmas is really hectic! Five services of performance, a birthday celebration, a christmas party, and watching Narnia all rolled into three days over the christmas weekend. Hardly a time of shut-eye.

The Dance! Thank God all went well...and we did our best! It was a great team to work with! And one thing good - they were all so young, made the older ones look young also! =p

We ended off the Sunday of Christmas with a Christmas party. It was a themed party. We were supposed to look futuristic in our dressing....haha

Every Christmas's a nostalgic one for me. It's just that time of the year that I remember what happens in the entire year. The highlights, and the ones which I want to unhighlight.

The main thing this year I received, is the gift of friendships growing in richness. Relating is never easy. But this year, through the hard times, I found this much cherished circle of friends. His christmas gift to me.

In Much Need of ZzZzZz

Christmas!!! =)

I appreciate the meaning of it, a time of remembering Christ and His love for all of us, and His love that wants to touch more people around, to find a hope, and a future...that fulfillment in life...

Yet, I'm also in need of my beauty sleeeeeeeeeeep! It's the umpteenth time I cabbed to work today...now I know why God gave me a good bonus! The rest doesn't seem to be enough...and at times like this, I really, really wished that my office was located in Shenton Way and not Boon Lay!

2005 passed very quickly. I realized, I was forced to grow up rather quickly this year. Overall, this year had been one where I found myself in predicaments after predicaments of looking beyond what my human eyes can see, but at what God wants me to see. The hope and the love that can be found in all hard times. The bonds forged, and the friendships deepened. There are just too many things I can give thanks for.

Now, my hope - a merry sleepmas! hehe....December 26! I'm looking forward to my much awaited sleep! After all the joy, fun and excitement this weekend...all I want is my trustworthy slumber mates and a nice, sweet time with my Abba Father!

Hardest thing to DO

Going back to the favorite of all favorites, the topic of love. Thinking back of the age-old mushy lines, such as Jerry Mcguire's, "You had me at hello." That's really a good one, I thought. The next, "You complete me".

What really is defined as love nowadays? The mere fluttering of the heart? The butterflies in the tummy that never fades away?

I know what's the right definition. Yet, the above definition is much more fascinating than the one which I saw below. The Message version 1 Corinthians 13:4-9.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
5Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
6Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
7Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

There's so much of a commitment. It takes a life time to love. Countless times the reverse of the above happens in my life. How often have I been impatient, how often I keep scores after scores. I definitely can't put up with anything. I definitely care for myself more than others, and I definitely desire what I do not have.

Yet, it brings me back to the one who did it all. For me, for us. I'm awestruck.

Grr....Here are the SEVEN....

At the request of a Mr Lim H.K.

7 things that scare me:

1. People who are close to me leave me
2. Flying cockroaches
3. Losing my faith
4. Losing my direction in life
5. People finding out my deepest darkest secrets
6. Drowning
7. Heights

7 random songs at the moment:

1. Chicken Little song (mu-ee-wah-hee)
2. You're Beautiful Beyond Description
3. Eternal Flame
4. Raindrops keep Falling on My Head
5. All Heaven Declares
6. Victory Chant
7. Still

7 things that I like most:

1. Sleep
2. Lim kopi/teh-si
3. Writing my journal
4. Dreaming of great things
5. Ban mian
6. Marcoroni & Cheese
7. Being with good friends

7 names i go by:

1. Genie
2. Ginny
3. Jenny (people who don't believe that my name is pronounced as genie)
4. Ni-ni
5. Shuyi
6. Chimney
7. Girlie (only mum uses tis)

7 important things in my room:

1. Journal
2. Fan
3. Air-con
4. Bed
5. All my Cards from friends
6. Handphone charger
7. Gifts!

7 random facts about me:

1. Loves reading bimbotic novels e.g. shopaholic
2. Had short hair for first 18 years of my life
3. Used to like hello kitty and little twin stars
4. Started wearing specs in primary 1
5. Am very stubborn
6. Stays opposite a reservoir
7. Feminist at heart

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Tell as many people as I can about Christ (especially see all my family receive Him into their lives)
2. To engage in counselling work
3. Visit Venice
4. Live for a few years in any other country except Singapore
5. Own my own studio apartment (dream)
6. Obtain another degree
7. Get married and have kids (multiply - literally)

7 things I can do:

1. Daydream
2. Make noise on my guitar and organ
3. Irritate the hell out of jieyun
4. Write long long encouragement cards for people
5. Shop, shop, shop all day long
6. Score an average of 100 plus at bowling (pathetic ah)
7. Change my mind in a splitsecond

7 things I can't do:

1. Run more than 5km
2. Splits
3. Eat durian
4. Multi-task more than 3 things at a go
5. Mental calculation, quickly
6. See without my specs (yup, that blind)
7. Talk non-stop

7 things I say the most:

1. lalalalala
2. huh?
3. chey
4. goodness me
5. pengz
6. dotz
7. sian

7 qualities I want in a potential boyfriend/ girlfriend:

1. Sensitive
2. Wise
3. Firm
4. Patient
5. Humble
6. Some humour
7. Follows His ways wholeheartedly

7 Celebrity Crushes

NIL

Tagged!!

Alamak!! I thought, with such a pensive post. I'd not kena anything weird. Yet, still can kena....all thanks to Ms Tham!!!Tagged me for what?!?!?! =p

Aiyah, very ley chey...but oh well, for the fun of it..here goes....

1. Whenever I'm in need of comfort food, I'd go for ban mian (specifically qiulian's).

2. All I need to amuse myself is my journal, my pen and a cup of coffee.

3. My student life jobs included being a flyer distributor, donut stall helper, cosmetics salesgirl (hard to believe ah!), vitamin salesgirl, maintenance office administrator, paper sorter for insurance company, pokemon/gundam salesgirl.......I think that's it?

4. I love receiving cards (greeting,encouragement, etc), especially those with essay long messages.

5. Three women who impacted my life in the early years: Mrs Hedy Vaithilingam(pri 1-4 teacher), Mrs Tan Hang Wan (Pri 5-6 teacher) and Mrs Karen Tham (JC Geog teacher). All three shaped my thinking structure, passion for the arts and provided words of wisdom for my growing years. Interestingly, all three are all sisters-in-christ!

But no worries, I'm not going to tag anyone...to lazeeeeee for that....=)

Why?

Have a lot of questions on something. Hold back to ask.

Feel a lot for something. But not to the extreme. Hold back to feel all the way.

Why the holding back? What's stopping it to go all the way?

Do I know?

Question

How do you receive sympathy?

This is a question that was posed to me recently. Is there a right or a wrong way? Why the question in the first place?

Life is already a maze to figure out. We do not always have the bird's eye view, but a question like that, makes it even much more puzzling. Much more into the question, why does one need to ask how to receive it? Is there a particular way to receive it?

The education I received gave me the other way of asking it. How to provide sympathy for people? The model of grief - what to say, or not to say to someone grieving.

In a situation where the outcome is not favorable to a person, sympathy comes naturally. It is also something that the person needs, yet to a considerable extent. There isn't any right or wrong rule to it. Probably, a matter of, does the sympathy-giver care? I think, if care and love is the motivation, this question, is probably redundant? The one giving sympathy should stand in the position of the one needing it? This would mean the person thinking for the other. Hence, why this question in the first place?

Sadness.Comfort.Gladness

In food terminology, i feel like rojak now. All mixed up, sticky, black, liquidity, yet also certain parts hard, some wet, some dry. Alright. I'm just mixed up within.

Things that happened in my life I've always believed that there's a purpose for it. This one is no different.

Yet in this time, there's a calmness. A hope. A sense of peace and comfort. A lot of things are not explainable. I think that's very Him. A source of peace in a time of turmoil. A time where answers are not able to be found that quickly, but to pray that everything will turn out fine. That's where my gladness is found.That's where I know, that I've made the right choice about something.

MAS Lunch Meeting!

Haha! It finally happened! Our University Support Ministry's Manpower, Administration & Stewardship Department (what a mouthful) met up for lunch!

Slurp...really enjoyed the time...It's just so rare that we are not facing the computer, accounts, email, etc, etc....

Ramblings

Reading: Lies women believe, And, The Truth that sets them Free. I've been lying to myself, everyday, every minute, yet, I didn't know! The biggest liar of all? My mind. Ha.

I can't help grinning at some pictures that were sent through my email. There's only that someone who would know why. I can't imagine what else will there be tonite? ;p

Emily Rose: Yessssssh, I want to watch this!!! But coordination seems like forever....

Yeah, this is incoherent, but what the heck, it's the weekend!!!!! I need to get out of office!! Then again, do I? GACI - so many things to prepare....:S

Oh, whatever, in the end, one thing - God is good! Smile.

Wide-open wonder

I was on MRT this morning, wearing mismatched slippers with a formal looking outfit. I had no choice. I had left my heels in office in a haste to get to the tutorial rooms yesterday, hence my weird lookingness this morning.

To top it off, I was super duperly sleepy, as I sent princesse off to Shanghai late last night, rather, it was early, early this morning. I don't know if it was the way I slept, the way I looked whilst I slept, or was I drooling (don't feel wet though!), but this fella opposite me was looking at me with wide-opened wonder when I woke up due to the jerk of the MRT. BUT, I just didn't care! You could look all you want! I need sleep! I finally woke at Boon Lay, again to his wide-opened wonder look. Alright, probably he just has that kind of look!

My mind was filled with what princesse told me yesterday on her trip to Bangkok, hill tribes to visit the churches there. I was utterly encouraged by the testimonies, stories and experiences shared. What really, really encouraged me was - princesse has grown up! I was so warmed by her stories the whole night, if not for that early boarding time on SQ, wished we could talk so much more.

Simple stories, and simple heart of serving our loving God.

A pastor in the church had a very bad curvature on his leg, making it so hard for him to walk. Yet, he looks at it as an encouragement to others instead of a flaw. For with his physicalities, he serves the Lord wholeheartedly, why not the rest? "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 1 Cor 12:9

In a village with no electricity and proper water supply, a pastor consistently visited his neighbour to share the goodness of God. How? By walking 20KM of terrain to the neighbouring hilltribe. He did so for two years, and finally, saw the neighbours coming to experience the love of our Lord. I'm touched by that simple heart to bring across the love of God to the others. Despite all the lousy infrastructure, long distances travelled, outcaste treatment (natives of hilltribes are termed to be a lower status than their city counterparts), they all had one commonality - to love Him with all their heart, all their soul and all their strength and all their mind.

Of Beauty Regimes & God

When I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.
You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
GOD is rock-firm and faithful.

Ps 73:21-26 (MSG)

Something that caught my attention today...a dumb ox in your very presence - something very true to me...I am just like that at times.. don't get the full picture, but keep going head-strong...using brute force, speech, etc. After it all, I'd just take a step back, and then literally LAUGH at my foolishness. And, I'm doing all this in the presence of a holy God. His patience is just so great.

In NIV, verse 26 reads, My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. In the message version, how direct and clear cut...skin sagging and bones gettin brittle (2 of the fears of women), He still remains firm and faithful.Irregardless of what I am like inside (my heart attitude) and outside (how I look). Indeed, that's all I need. That assurance from Him. That very acceptance.

Essence to keep me going and admiring the beauty of the works of His. A moment with Him in the morning, brings me a long way.

Reminisce

The clock struck ten past five, and I made my way to prepare some soup for some people mugging in the south spine of where I was working. It had been some time since I have made such soup, and seriously, I was just hoping that the prayers work - that He will help me make good soup, or else, at least protect their stomachs, or even better, provide them with taste buds that won't tell that the soup tastes bad!

An hour later, it was ready, and I made my way to the place. It had been some time since I have walked the corridors of this familiar place. The reddish rectangular tiles, the black benches along the lecture halls, the dim lights and the never-ending carpark. I had spent some good three years in this place studying. Each nook had a story to tell. One which brings me back to the various project discussions, another the haven of all of most of us where we rushed our FYP, yet another where my bimbo HR group surprisingly managed to come up with some commendable presentations. Yes, it was all coming back to me.

I reached the place, greeted by some familiar faces and some not so familiar ones. It was good to see them once again. The examination period is a time where the family bonding in this group grows by leaps and bounds. The whole place looked like a home - hot water flasks, sleeping bags, and the well - stocked "provision stall" marked the decor of the seminar room.

After some chatting, guitar playing, crapping and all that sort, here I am, typing out the very thoughts that came. Here I am, sitting in a tutorial room where I used to have my lessons, only now that, I am blogging instead of preparing my reports. It's all so different now. How I wished I was back studying again.

It was good memory though....

Nothin' but the whole truth

" U just let all ur emotions take over now....Ur emotions r eating up everything of u..And much of it isn't even true!"

Yup, how true it is. I needed it. Thank you for being so frank with me, and putting up with all my nonsense.

I am really blessed to know you.

Mum & me....Again...

Sometimes, I wonder if I should've taught my mum how to SMS...

She went for her doctor's appointment today for her fractured wrist..and well, here it goes:

Mum: me need to go for physiotherapy..

Me: oh? When?

Mum: don't know yet

Me: ok, you can start moving your fingers more then..

Mum: doc says can play mahjong

Me: (purposely ignorant) which type? electronic?

Mum: do you know the meaning of exercise?

Me: ok, we shall play mahjong then!

Mum: forget it, you got not much money

Me: ... ... ....

Mugging Time!!!!

This is what happens at NTU each time it is the EXAM SEASON!! The Canteen becomes the students favourite home....for MUGGING!! (the group above looks happy though)


But..some...need more Tender Loving Care......=p

There she goes...

She walked into the room, all filled with the warmth and sweetness of what she could ever dreamed of. The people whom she had thought were the best in the world. People whom she thought that she could spend a wonderful time with. It was as though she had came back from a faraway land, to be received back into the arms of people whom she loved, and who loved her.

Yet, as she walked further in, as she talked with them, it was as though the thoughts she just had was a fleeting moment of euphoria. A moment in time to hold, just for that moment. The warmth melted, the place became cold. The feelings faded, the closness vanished. It was all just an illusion. All in her thoughts. Thoughts that was built on the past. The past which she thought was so, but was it really so?

Reality, always seem so different. It is different. That was the ideal. The reality has quite a way to go from the ideal. Yet, without the ideal, there is no way to reach what we want in reality. Oh, whatever the matter. We still need to hold onto the ideal. Another round of complication? Yeah, I think so.

Complicated

Why commit so much into something, when the commitment doesn't seem to yield the results that one is looking for? Then again, the results are of a system of thoughts that doesn't belong to me.

You put in so much thought into wanting to change something, only to know that somehow, that something has changed the perspective of the environment. A sense of insecurity, betrayal, disappointment. The something has won the votes of another, only for me to be left in a sense of utter disillusion.

Yes, hard to understand? Now, I'm making sense of things. The uniqueness of each one of us.Complicated.

婆婆=）

婆- 我的最好，最忠实的朋友！

谢谢您这23年来对我的照顾！

SMS Dialogue bet Mum & me

Somethin' between mum & I via sms tis morning.....=P

Me: Mum, this birthday, can you pay ur hp bills tis mth as a gift to me? hehe

Mum: Why? You broke ah?

Me: Nope, planning to go on a trip, so slightly tight this month, but not cfm lar

Mum: Why dun u find a good man and settle down first. u can travel later

Me: .......................

Giant Slippers, Geraldine N me!

We met, we ate, we talked....and talked.....and talked.....

Time flies, it's been one year since we graduated. Thank God for MSN that we still can keep very much in contact! My working partner..just that she is in Raffles place, and I'm in 鸟不生蛋的 western most end of Singapore.

This's a friend who has been by my side in support. Though never meet up often, but appreciate the efforts she puts in to show concern for my life and all that. Yup, this is dedicated to you. Thanks dear! =)

Tis's for you....He knows what He's doin in your life!

That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Rom 8:28 (msg)

WaShin MaChines

"Hello! Ask you ah, what's the diameter of the tubing for your place's washing machine?"

I was caught by surprise who on earth was it. Didn't say who he was, just asked the question. "I gotta go measure lar...how to know off hand?" It was my colleague from the other hall....ha...the crappy one..

Yup, and in the end I went to measure....2 inches...so, that's the size of a washing machine's tubing...interesting.

Yes, the most minute of things...yet...the most important.....new washing machines coming in soon....(=

(= Birthdays!

There are things that I know I should do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Tough...my mind and my heart find it so hard to coordinate.

Anyway, we celebrated Dingting and Meiling's birthdays last saturday at PS Cartel. What caught my attention was this "cake"! (in comparison to that container of dairy milk - my God..huge isn't really a good representation of it, and on the right - the dice used to "sabo" DT & ML)

Why are the two of them sooooooooooooooo serious? What's the news?!

This one...should be ba gua news!

Actually, it was their sheep's dedication to them...recorded on a SE phone....too soft!

Friday

The weather ain't that warm, but I am. I think, I might have lost quite a lot of water whilst on the way up to the Finance Office. Uphill climb from the foot of the hill. Oh, if you haven't realized, my office is located at the foot of the hill, and the Administrative offices are seemingly all quite high above sea level.

Walking over, I paid a visit to my ex-colleagues. They were surprisingly dumb-founded when they saw me. Irene, my dear colleague there said that I look very havoc-girl now...whatever that means.

Met Joe there too...sometimes, makes me wonder if I should have introduced him to the job. He seems happy, yet, like not so happy. Hopefully, he start to see things differently, I hope. He's really a very nice chap, and I think, a good helper to Irene, especially when she was on maternity leave.

Anyhow, it was a good, short reunion. It's my first time after so long talking with Irene. Really miss her voice...very saccharine sweet. =)

No Rhyme Nor Reason

I walked through my house door, threw off all the stuff on my hands - paper bag, handbag, key pouch, and whatever nots, I slumped onto my bed, only to find that my sheets were changed! mmm.....smell of clean sheets were great!!! Grandma dearest had washed my bedsheet! Such lil' things she does just make me go....mmmm....*smiles

It has been quite a roller-coaster ride in my feelings of late. The emotional department of my heart had decided to do quite a fair bit of OT...which I dread...yet, it had to be so...some things just come, and they keep coming too!! grr...

Anyway, life's never a bed of roses...just that I am taken by surprise by the thorns I have experienced this year. Those thorns were good though. It was required, something that I did not regret going through this year. This is probably one of my most memorable year. Though not all memories were sugary sweet, coated with chocolate rice...ooh, I'm thinking of food again...but yah, they were strengthening.

"Life's never a bed of roses,
so let's hold on to all of God's promises,
just like our big brother moses."

A sudden inspiration to write the above...no rhyme or reason..haha..

Normacy Required

Something's really weird. I need some normacy!!!! This is the umpteenth time this year I am making hospitals my second home. First time was in March, which lasted till now, and Grandma is going for her last radiation session tomorrow. Now, as I thought I could have some rest, I am to be welcomed by the next thing -- my mum going to the hospital on Sunday night. Goodness!

One moment, I was doing my thing, the next, I was with mum, supporting her and telling dad how to call for the ambulance. Yup, what in the world's happening these days. A test of my calmness? Seriously...I don't know. Yet, there's this trust, which I hold. The trust that kept me going, and will keep me going still.

At this point, I just want to thank my dear sisters for your concern - jieyun, sarah, rachel, geraldine. Your words and actions have touched me greatly. Not only this time, but even when it was in March, when my grandma was unwell. I'd remember all of you dearly. I thank God for letting our paths cross, and you gals being a support in my life.

Now, on a lighter note. Some interesting happenings in a particular hospital in the east which I decline to name. Probably, I will do it in a news brief format.

It is reported that a particular doctor in a hospital located in the east had poked himself with the needle after drawing blood from a patient. Proper training should be done in order to prevent such kinds of incidents from occurring. The danger in the life of the doctor is evident, as one will never know the kind of diseases the patient is carrying. Probably, there should be a 100-time practice of how to draw blood from patients before the doctor should be released to do such procedures. If not, it is best to leave it to the nurses.

In the same hospital. A patient was found on the top of the building. It is not a usual sight, and the patient was not up on the roof of the building to check tiles. He was threatening to jump. Several civil defence officers were there to keep the situation under control. Fortunately, they managed to calm the patient down.

These are the excerpts of the ongoings in a day at a hospital. I found it interesting.

Practical steps to Working?!

The Start of the Day

You'll never know what you're going to get when you wake up in the morning. Just like any other day, I did what I usually do. Only thing was that, I was really sleepy this morning. The only thing that probably was calling out to me was the aroma of coffee...okay, that was in my imaginary land whilst I was still queueing at the bus interchange. I hopped on the bus, only to have some even sleepier person behind me, I guess, either that or too anxious to get on the bus, to step on my heels, causing my right sandal to drop off onto the steps. In the end, I had to save my heel, hobble up the bus, and try to pretend that nothing happened, while of course half the people on the bus saw this sleepy girl unglamourously trying to put her slip ons back on. Okay, since when did I have any poise in the first place?

Lesson #1: How to Ask for a Favor

"Gooooooooood morning, Jeannie!!!" A voice came from behind. So sweet, my hair really stood on an end, whilst I was trying to make out who she was. I see, the cleaning supervisor, hurriedly making her way to look for me. "Jeaaaaannnniiiieeeee, I need a favour from you....." The first thing that came to my mind was....Okay, cut the sweetness, it is so unlike you. In the end, what she needed was just a few chairs. All right, that won't hurt. She can have as many as she liked, actually. As long as she brings it back!

Lesson #2: Women are petty, whatever the age

There are just so many relationships to deal with in my workplace. The pettiness of women, especially is evident. The office attendants that I have, are really a good sight to look at, good entertainment, only if you are free, that is. They can pick on each other over the most minute of things. Sometimes, I really wish to tell them, "Please grow up!" Okay, but that isn't what a good superior will do. Dealing with Difficult People 101 doesn't have that advice. What happens next is a full half an hour of sitting down, asking each one, what happened. The outpour of their account is usually accompanied by salt and vinegar. You never know how well they can season it, until you listen to it yourself. Eventually, it ended off with my understanding, and providing them with a rather simple solution (they could just have asked what the other person meant), actually, and pacify them, most importantly. Yes, everyone wants to be understood.

Lesson #3: Choose conversational topics wisely

There was quite a hoolabaloo at lunch today. Surprisingly, quite a few colleagues from other locations came to join my boss and I at the canteen. It is truly a rare sight. Usually, they would just like to hide in their cosy little haven, and lunch in. Today, was a treat.

My other colleague and his boss came too. This colleague, was someone whom I enjoyed talking with, but his boss, no. He had the same sentiment, which made his boss, well, our "common enemy". Okay, it wasn't THAT bad. Yet, it was difficult to say anything much in the presence of higher authority. I remembered, there was once, things got so bad, we had to use the SMS function of the phone to communicate. Yes, it was bad.

The main reason why we find it hard to talk to his boss, was that he liked to put down people in his speech, especially in the area of work. Today, was a slight breakthrough. Instead of talking about work, we talked about entertainment. It helped. Probably also because, he lost touch with entertainment (hee hee). In this aspect, we had the dominating point. Hence, the revelation - the way to stop hearing his putting down people speech was to say something Greek to him. Yes, it wasn't the best solution, but at least, it was a solution. Lunch time was a lot better that way, and this colleague of mine later emailed to say that his boss was surprised we had so much to talk about. Well, is this good news, or bad? What do I need to infer from this? Yikes...

All I want to do is to.....go home

I don't know why, but I just had the desire to go straight back home today. Probably tired. I'm a person who seldom likes to go home early. Yet today, that's all I want to do, and here I am, noting all these down.

A lot of feelings flowed through me today - fear, anger, frustration, sadness, loss. All negative emotions. Yes, quite a bit of things happened throughout the day. It seems that this period is a period of down time.

Yet, as I came back from my jog in the evening, I became refreshed by His presence...mainly through this worship that came to my mind..

Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior

I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands

Crafted into your perfect plans

You gently called me into your presence

Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit

Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life

Through your eyes

I'm captured by your holy calling

Set me apart. I know you're calling me to yourself

Teach me, Lord. I pray

Take me, mold me, use me, fill me

I give my life to the potter's hand

Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me

I give my life to the potter's hand

It brought back peace to my otherwise haywire system. His calling, His purpose in my life. That's all I seek. That's all I need. That's where I know, I am safe at home..Ps 46:1

What to Do?

Today, a tom-boyish girl walked into my office, and before I knew it, she was crying at the counter. Is it me?

Aih...this is the second time a student cried in front of me...haiz...

I think, I should put a box of tissue on my office counter.....

In Times Like These

Hmm...quite a few things have happened recently. I sort of lived through things without stopping to take a stock take of the experiences. Partly, I probably am not wanting to feel too much about the things that happened I guess?

Uncertainty after uncertainty has seeped through my life...job, health of family members, faith pledge, relationships with people around me...now that I slowed down, it dawned on me..that yup, there are so many things I need to cherish and appreciate while it lasts.

My heart has been placed with this burden of planning...be it my life or the responsibilities that I have been given the opportunities to take up...there's so much anticipation within my heart, but at times, I just don't know where to start to plan..but I believe step by step, it'd be unfolded, and I'd know what to do..somehow...with Someone..

The very words that I keep hearing are..."wait....be strong"...yup, I will try my very best to be. I know very well it's possible. The hope that is provided is strong. Yes, and I'd take it at that. The road ahead is uncertain, yet exciting, scary yet assuring. It's such a paradox, but it's the fact. Amazing.

Anyway, on a lighter note, this is what someone commented about me today:

"u looked pretty in pink today."

"perfect with a smile"

Strangled..literally

This happened early this week..come to think of it. It's rather scary staying in a room with someone you don't really know, even in this safe place of Singapore.

With my eyes barely open, mind yet to start functioning, a PRC student walked into my office. He looked decent, conservative, a tad bit of the chinese scholar type of person of the past...those 书生 pattern kind of person..

Very softly, he said that he woke up today only to be strangled by his roommate. Goodness! His story goes like this, his roommate was upset with him setting his alarm at 7am, and not waking up. So, the alarm went on ringing, but he just slept on, waking his roommate up. His angry roommate then woke up, went to his bed and strangled him, saying,"我已经忍你很久了！"

I sure became wide-awake! In the end, lots of reports to be written. Security division called in, rooms of the students were changed, and the Resident Counsellor had to spend hours on resolving conflict and emphasising the severity of the matter.

You'd never know when your roommate just gets crazy at times. Later I went to check the records, and this 书生 looking guy.......was previously warned for using violence and vulgarities on his girlfriend. Apparently, he went to his girlfriend's hall to slap her in front of everyone else and abused her verbally. And well, you know the saying that always goes..never...*fill in the blanks*

The Much Awaited Meeting wif Serene

Serene's a really wonderful sister to have to talk with the entire night. She's one of the few whom I met that we hit off rightaway.She could yak non-stop...yup....yak yak yak....but very entertaining ;) I'm never bored with her around....you could talk for the whole night, but you don't feel that it is draggy...you'd enjoy every minute of it. =) Remember in my NYC days, when I just got to know her, she seemed very serious and aloof..but once we started talking, it was like, I've found a gem! hehe...very dear sister of mine...=)

Finally.....we met....Holland Village, Al Dente Trattoria....

Take a look at the pizza I ordered, it's called B.L.T. (bacon,lettuce and tomato with mozarella cheese, etc, etc.) =p Interesting pizza.....it tasted like caesar's salad on top of the crust....combi of two of my likings...=)

And here's Serene........caught in mid-sentence....her spaghetti was nice too....slurp....

And there was this cat....who came to entertain us....and decided to come to me instead....under my chair.....hehe

But................we still haven't gotten enough of each other....she had to leave early.....so we will have rendevous II next week....haha.....and hopefully, that one, we can really crap till God knows when...

Remembering HK

Been wanting to put this down, but didn't get the chance to before that. It's been a rush since I came back from HK. Yet, I don't want to let the memories slip my mind before I have a chance to pen them down.

Throughout this trip, I found myself blessed. From the weather, to the people whom we met, the smoothness of the journey, the shopping, the food...oh yup, GLORIOUS FOOD....to the sights, to observing the lifestyle, the dressing of the people, and so much more...there's just a lot to cover, and I can only squeeze whatever I can remember from the 4D3N trip.

Sarah and I left Singapore bumpily on the flight CI 666. Yeah, what an interesting number. Nevertheless, the weather conditions before we left were taking a turn for the worse, and it was bumpy for the first hour and a half to HK. In short, it's half the journey there. Some of the times, it was rather scary. Somehow, felt like slightly going down slope on the rollercoaster at times. However, we really felt blessed as the weather was much worse later, and the plane left before that.

We reached HKIA finally at around 9plus in the night. There we were like two lil gals roaming around the huge space of the airport, which I felt was like the Expo Hall of Singapore, looking for the counter of our correspondent tour agency. Walking up and down the length of the airport, we found all counters except ours. That feeling of being lost seeped through me, and there and then, the utterance of a prayer came through under my breath. Guess what, the next moment, this guy walked toward us with a piece of paper bearing our names and a whole string of Cantonese came out of his mouth. Whatever it is. My listening comprehension for Cantonese was never a good pass, you know.Anyway, he identified himself as the tour agent. The "counter" was an airport trolley with the sign "UNITED HOLIDAYS". *smiles

The next part was worse. There were only two of us. One busplus kinda sized bus (probably sitting space for around 20 people). One driver. It was late. Around 10pm now. So two gals from the sunny island of Singapore in that bus, with that driver, and God knows where he is going to bring us! On the way out of that famous bridge out of the airport zone, Sarah asked,"What happen if you are the only one here ah?" How nice....*smiles....

That was the start of our night in HK, and we ended up at our hotel shortly after, famished. We dropped our bags, and scampered out for food! Ended up with Macdonald's as that's the only thing that was still open at that time along the street.

The next few days was a good time of walking around HK island and Kowloon area. The people always were in a rush, especially at their CBD, Central. Tsim sha sui was no different. One thing different though, was their dressing, much more effort placed in that.

The breakfast for the first day was great! Teh-si...hehe...ok..they call it 奶茶...

...Marcoroni....slurp slurp......

We were there on the day of the Disneyland opening ceremony at HK. Times Square was filled with people staring at the huge screen with the live coverage of the opening. It was a sight to look at. It was a big thing for them, and the excitement could be felt. Personally, I was glad that I was there to see it for myself, and sense the atmosphere.

Meeting up with Dee was another part of the trip I liked. It was such a long time since I met up with her, and if I had the chance, I would rather have just the whole night sitting down with her to talk about her life. She brought us to the Peak, where we took in the breath-taking view, which my lousy camera skills didn't do justice to. All shaky photos. The wind was blowing strongly though. Excuses. *smiles..but I found myself really blessed by her going the extra mile to bring us out for two nights in a row despite her having to work the next morning.

Nights in our hotel room was spent combing the ba gua magazines. We got hooked on them after one copy I bought on the first night. Sarah adores them...okay, probably shouldn't use adore...maybe..okay, I shan't say more. It's really interesting looking at their media. So much more "substance".

Yup, these few paragraphs won't be able to sum up everything. There's so so so much more to it. Yet, for that, I need to really sit down to journalise. It was a good trip...*smiles

Living the Dream

Service today's encouraging. Hearing testimonies of people I know, made it even more encouraging. A brother, who was an ex-convict, dropped out of school, now pursuing a degree, gave up a romantic relationship, to pursue the degree still, instead of listening to his heart, all when he heard Him say that, He has greater plans for him. Just one word from Him, and He obeyed, despite the constant tuggings of his heart for something much more tangible. God changes lives, and continue to do so, always.

A sister, who took 10 years to complete her degree, due to her health, her personal difficulties, still saw hope in God, despite all the seemingly discouraging signs in front of her.

Hope - an active pursuit of expecting something to happen from God. How not to lose hope? The hope from God? How to keep living the dream? Yup, the main geist of the sermon.

It matters not how we started the race, but how we finish it......

Aaron...

Got a last minute call from Weilong last night, to meet up Aaron for supper. Known him more affectionately as thongwu...thinking back, it was interesting how we met again..and how I got to know him in the first place.

Transferring over to tpj from tj, got to know this mutual friend sylvia through bowling..who knows aaron, and knows that aaron wants to get to know another fren of mine who was in tj bowling..complicated..ok, neway, he just would like to get to know her..cos, she's CUTE! :) Yeah, so I sorta played "matchmaker", a failed one..haha...I only intro-ed, and left it as that..haha..in the end, as you would have guessed it, it didn't work out! But, they became good friends lah..

Lost contact with him for like three years..pretty long, till one night, I walked out of the tutorial room where the NYC people were studying for exams..was already working..got them some dessert, then left...as I walked out, I just passed by him..and I just vaguely found this fella familiar, not knowing it's him! Lalalala...yeah...that's Jeannie for you....then I was thinking, aiyah, forget it lah...already walked so far off already...haha.....who knows, I was back the next day, with more dessert, then Weilong came to me and told me, Hey, you know aaron? I was thinking, I don't know any Aaron lah..first time hear his name lor....then, we saw each other...(machiam drama), and I went...Argh....ThongWu!!!!! (Yeah, exclaiming in the seminar room - till everyone else who were studying there were woken up but our excitement!) Yeah..and the rest well...spent the night talking, talking, talking, talking.....hahaha...missed this crappy fren....

Yeah, then back to supper yesterday at Blk 85...I thought it would just be SUPPER = eat = eat and eat = eat and eat and eat...then, reach there, Aaron already started on his first bottle of Baron's. Yeah yeah....and next thing, was, my mug came right in front of me...tsk tsk....haha...ok lah....once in a while.....

Goodness Gracious Me! I should have had a camera yesterday...to take pix of ALL that we ate (more of what Aaron and Weilong ate)...:S hahaha....but one thing was that it was a good time of catching up, and talkin about his life, said he was going to the states for GIP, get married there, and don't come back already...hahaha...mainly, was to catch up lah..yeah..and in the middle of it, talked a bit about his diminishing faith - the main reason why I was there anyway...well, dunoe when some sense will get into the numbskull of his lah..but really praying lo...Ended off the conversation with," yeah, you know what to do one lah, you can even quote me verses mah....but whether you want to do it lah"....

Yeah...that's Aaron...Thongwu....a good time of supper, if better without the drinks...now headache...slept not enuf also...and tonite...sistas nite....OMG!dun wan to have it in dreamland...lalala....

Carrie..

Brown*Roasted*Aromatic*Thick*Creamy*Dehydrating

Just got it from KL, where my boss, Carrie, went over the weekend. Something I have everyday, but not the same. One thing about my boss, is that she scores A++ in welfare. I am always amazed by her heart of giving, especially in the area of food. Probably, being brought up in HK has caused her to be an ambassador for good food wherever she goes. Just the mere mention of looking for good food, and her eyes lights up with great anticipation and enthusiasm for an exchange of her vocabulary of anecdotes of food search, be it in Singapore, China, HongKong, Malaysia...goodness!

Other than the occasional differences in our styles of working, most of the times, I am rather glad that I have such an understanding and inspiring colleague to follow. The things women nowadays go through makes me wonder about the life that we are created to have. Of course, men have their fair share. Yet, it does make me wonder about how to handle & pacify and relate with a hubby, teach and care for a kid(s), do the housework, rally the colleagues, serve in the ministry in church, and clear her own office work. Where does she find the time for self-development, much less, relaxation? This is something I respect her for...*loss for words....

Thoughts

Things have slowed down considerably, the momentum that I have thrived on for the past weeks have seemingly disappeared. Though I have that feeling of loss, yet I am glad that there's this window of time for me to sit down, think about things, breathe and look at what's going on around me.

Been some time since I really took time to appreciate the surroundings. Some time since I had time to pen my thoughts down. The haste with which things happen, really left me with experiences after experiences, without really grasping what I really went through.

Feelings didn't seem to be felt, rather, they just seem to flow through me and didn't leave much of an impression.

Yes, there's this air of melancholy. Could it be the night? The cold surroundings? The trickling of the rain slowly making headway down the window in front of me, creating it's own pattern of art?

Another season has passed....another chapter is closed....yes...the beginning of a new one will unfold..

Air of Uncertainty

After a day of MC, I am back in the dusty office.Makes me wonder why it's always dusty also.It just tickles me since the first day I am in this place. Another day to go, and I'm outta here. Not sure if I want to be outta here in the first place. I mean, the room has just gotten rather comfortable...the job, Nope!

Another student came in today. In reference to his email on the cleanliness of the toilet next to his room. Apparently, he had complained about the toilet, the clerical officer, supervisor and him had a "meeting" just outside the toilet, and in the presence of the cleaner. How wonderful that'd be. This morning, he awoke, prepared to go for lessons, only to be scared off my the piercing, chill-raising stare of the cleaner when he went in the toilet to brush his teeth. Indeed, how true the saying, NEVER ever incur the wrath of a WOMAN! She slammed the door thrice on him, and on top of that, her incessant stares just keep looking straight into his room. Scary!!!

Lunch was...well....discouraging...the Big R word was on the lips on anyone I spoke with...sigh...a rumour of restructuring/retrenching...Hmm....."Retrenched at 23!" Actually, I haven't reached 23! :P Ok, whatever it is. It didn't feel good. For me, it's a question to God. So what does it mean? Time for me to look for greener pasture? What exactly do I want to do for you? All over again, I am thinking through this...surprisingly, my main concern wasn't on providence. He has been providing all these while...including how He led me here. My ex-boss called this morning, asking, so how long will you be staying here? Guess, might it be a sign I should get myself moving? What's the next step? This job has been interesting (where else I get such weird experiences), but what else could I do further from this? Thinking....thinking....thinking....

The shrill of the office phone broke my train of thoughts...."Hi, Good afternoon...yes, oh, Finance office? Oh, the student marched into your office and demanded why you didn't deduct his hostel fees properly, now he has spent all his money, and can't pay the upcoming fees....oh...icic....so if he comes, ask him if he'd like to pay in installments? (well, does he have a choice?)"...Ok, no problem...another typical day at work....probably should buy some liang teh tomorrow, for the student, before he comes, I sure don't hope to look for a "heated" argument! And, Oh, he is studying accountancy...how nice....

Everthing's gonna Be Alright!

It's been sometime since I have been here to put down these thoughts of mine into this lil' electronic thingy. Countless things have zoomed past me over the past few months. My life has been changed....but what exactly has been changed?

Little by little I have been scanning through the jig-saw pieces that fall into my lap every once in a while.."God, why's this puzzle so complicating? When is my puzzle going to be finished?" "Patience my child, patience. All you need is some time...to take a seat back, look at Me, and together, we shall look at this puzzle..." " I stared straight into the eyes of my dear Heavenly Father, and said...well, okay, you always have the final say!" How many times have I came to this point?

The moment I stepped into my office, there I took my deep breath, and told God. Now what's going to happen today, I must remember, you are with me. Walking down the pathway to the noisy, grease-filled canteen, with the continual droning of the electrical fans and the ever-blasting Channelnewsasia telecast, I stood in front of the drink stall. The voice of Suzanne Jung clearly reaching my ears as I proclaimed to the auntie, "Kopi ji buay!" Yes, the typical morning at the workplace, except this time, I was not in my cosy haven of Hall 14, but that of utter coldness and dustiness of Hall 15!

"God, indeed how nice you are, and how true to your word. When I said okay, you may bring me to a faith testing place, I didn't mean so fast! Nor I meant more responsibilities?!" Alright, my little battle of words with God, yet in my heart, I was in anxiety and anticipation of what God would have in store for me today.

True to His word. There would be challenges. Last week was a chicken pox case who stepped into my office to proclaim that, "I have chicken pox, how?" Wonderful, we can have a chicken pox party, and hopefully we all get two weeks of MC! Okay, dream on...Well, I have to send you for quarantine in Hall 7, that's how....a whimper came along...'Really? Can I not go? I shall hide in my room in Hall 15...really, I will get people to....."" Sorry, but you have to go to Hall 7, Don't worry, we will make the necessary arrangements..." Okay, eventually after spending 1 hour in my office, I manage to gently explain to the student that it's not that I don't want her here, but I don't believe that many people are welcomed to the idea that someone having chicken pox is living next door to them!Though in my heart, 2 weeks of MC really sounded good!

Anyway, today isn't about any illness nor any one who forgotten to bring out their room keys and got locked out. Today, the ceiling literally came crashing down! Indeed, let's bring down the house! The storm that had started not long ago caused the false ceiling to give way. The water came down, as my boss said, "waterfall!" Well, that's Hall 14. I thought Hall 15 would be safe. Guess things just don't work that way. I opened the dance room, and there my parquet floor stared back at me, no longer a dance floor, but a wadding pool! "Oh my goodness! Get the cleaners up here!!" What a life as an acting Hostel Officer. I can imagine the look on the face of my colleague when he returns from reservist when he looks at his dance room floor. Oh well, but I'd be on leave that day....In came the engineers, senior technical officer, technical officer and the entire platoon came I guess. "Don't worry, don't worry, we will handle it." How nice, how reassuring. How much is it going to cost? That's my primary concern. Time and again, we have informed you that there is constant leaking in this area. "No problem, no problem" is the line we have heard time and again, I could reply on their behalf with my eyes closed. Okay, no point making a fuss out of it. Now, inform all who have booked the room that they can't use it for at least a month, inform the various people that, well, we have a wadding pool now instead of a dance room, inform my senior liaison officer that, we are going to have to pay more money again....oh well....what's new....if it ain't broken, don't fix it....yeah....what a philosophy...now it's broken, and fixing it costs a bomb! Goodness me....well, bureaucracy says we can't spend too much on repairs and maintenance. Always use the cheapest quote. Well, worth every cent of your money...

Oh, and I need to stop here! My office attendant just annouced, "there's a lot of water on the Function Hall Stage!!" Leaking from the roof....well, God, here we go again.....how interesting...indeed, I need a lot of joy in this job....and God...well....I think you're trying to give me some humour as I tackle these....oh well...another day at work....

His wonderful companionship

I thought that I was doing it alone. The cooking, washing, and settling of soup for the brothers and sisters studying in the tutorial group. To my surprise, I was in for a treat, from God, Himself.

Hot water, green beans, sago, rock sugar...how would the soup turn out like, I thought in my heart. At that moment, a small little tugging in my heart also was arising...my companion for the night. "Let Me bless the soup you're cooking...." Alright, let's say a little prayer, "God, I pray you'd bless this soup, for people studying in the seminar rooms. May they know your love through all these. In your Name I pray, Amen!"

Watching it boil, reading my shopaholic book, having my dinner...the soup was done, but I needed a second opinion. So I smsed Levs, and asked her to come down for soup plus chat...well, we caught up quite a bit... She liked the soup.Mmmm, indeed You has just blessed one, and given me company along the way.

Chukai came along, to taste, but got his tongue almost scalded.I guess, it was just too hot.Well, at least Levs and him got to meet? We had some fun exchanges, talked a bit here and there. Finally, my soup was ready, and all geared to go to the Seminar Room.

On my way there, I start to realize that I got tired. But thank goodness, there is such thing called transport. At least I didn't have to walk up the hill with my big bags of green bean soup. By the time I reached the Seminar Room, I was surprised by a voice which called out,"Green Bean Soup is here!" hmm...Oh yeah, I changed my name in accordance to the things I cook?

It was a refreshing time though, talking with old friend, and also other brothers. Unfortunately, my dear sisters were not around, probably hiding in their own little secret enclaves? I had to run though, and couldn't stay long. Went on to Hall 2, where I strolled there, feeling the droplets of sweat trickling down my neck and forehead. How I wished there is a cool air to keep my dry..well, it didn't come, but I started to walk slower, and realized when I wasn't rushing, it was a pleasant night, walking and thinking about the people I am to meet, and that He is with me, walking down the road in the night.

After bumping into Peiru and Xiaoli at Canteen 2, I met Kelvin as well, to pass him some soup. A dear brother whom I have not really taken time to talk to him. Sometimes, I do take this friendship for granted. He has a paper upcoming, and was glad to meet up with him, blessing him with some sweetness.