Have a lot of questions on something. Hold back to ask.
Feel a lot for something. But not to the extreme. Hold back to feel all the way.
Why the holding back? What's stopping it to go all the way?
Do I know?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Question
How do you receive sympathy?
This is a question that was posed to me recently. Is there a right or a wrong way? Why the question in the first place?
Life is already a maze to figure out. We do not always have the bird's eye view, but a question like that, makes it even much more puzzling. Much more into the question, why does one need to ask how to receive it? Is there a particular way to receive it?
The education I received gave me the other way of asking it. How to provide sympathy for people? The model of grief - what to say, or not to say to someone grieving.
In a situation where the outcome is not favorable to a person, sympathy comes naturally. It is also something that the person needs, yet to a considerable extent. There isn't any right or wrong rule to it. Probably, a matter of, does the sympathy-giver care? I think, if care and love is the motivation, this question, is probably redundant? The one giving sympathy should stand in the position of the one needing it? This would mean the person thinking for the other. Hence, why this question in the first place?
This is a question that was posed to me recently. Is there a right or a wrong way? Why the question in the first place?
Life is already a maze to figure out. We do not always have the bird's eye view, but a question like that, makes it even much more puzzling. Much more into the question, why does one need to ask how to receive it? Is there a particular way to receive it?
The education I received gave me the other way of asking it. How to provide sympathy for people? The model of grief - what to say, or not to say to someone grieving.
In a situation where the outcome is not favorable to a person, sympathy comes naturally. It is also something that the person needs, yet to a considerable extent. There isn't any right or wrong rule to it. Probably, a matter of, does the sympathy-giver care? I think, if care and love is the motivation, this question, is probably redundant? The one giving sympathy should stand in the position of the one needing it? This would mean the person thinking for the other. Hence, why this question in the first place?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Sadness.Comfort.Gladness
In food terminology, i feel like rojak now. All mixed up, sticky, black, liquidity, yet also certain parts hard, some wet, some dry. Alright. I'm just mixed up within.
Things that happened in my life I've always believed that there's a purpose for it. This one is no different.
Yet in this time, there's a calmness. A hope. A sense of peace and comfort. A lot of things are not explainable. I think that's very Him. A source of peace in a time of turmoil. A time where answers are not able to be found that quickly, but to pray that everything will turn out fine. That's where my gladness is found.That's where I know, that I've made the right choice about something.
Things that happened in my life I've always believed that there's a purpose for it. This one is no different.
Yet in this time, there's a calmness. A hope. A sense of peace and comfort. A lot of things are not explainable. I think that's very Him. A source of peace in a time of turmoil. A time where answers are not able to be found that quickly, but to pray that everything will turn out fine. That's where my gladness is found.That's where I know, that I've made the right choice about something.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
MAS Lunch Meeting!
Haha! It finally happened! Our University Support Ministry's Manpower, Administration & Stewardship Department (what a mouthful) met up for lunch!
Slurp...really enjoyed the time...It's just so rare that we are not facing the computer, accounts, email, etc, etc....
Slurp...really enjoyed the time...It's just so rare that we are not facing the computer, accounts, email, etc, etc....
Friday, November 11, 2005
Ramblings
Reading: Lies women believe, And, The Truth that sets them Free. I've been lying to myself, everyday, every minute, yet, I didn't know! The biggest liar of all? My mind. Ha.
I can't help grinning at some pictures that were sent through my email. There's only that someone who would know why. I can't imagine what else will there be tonite? ;p
Emily Rose: Yessssssh, I want to watch this!!! But coordination seems like forever....
Yeah, this is incoherent, but what the heck, it's the weekend!!!!! I need to get out of office!! Then again, do I? GACI - so many things to prepare....:S
Oh, whatever, in the end, one thing - God is good! Smile.
I can't help grinning at some pictures that were sent through my email. There's only that someone who would know why. I can't imagine what else will there be tonite? ;p
Emily Rose: Yessssssh, I want to watch this!!! But coordination seems like forever....
Yeah, this is incoherent, but what the heck, it's the weekend!!!!! I need to get out of office!! Then again, do I? GACI - so many things to prepare....:S
Oh, whatever, in the end, one thing - God is good! Smile.
Tuesday, November 8, 2005
Wide-open wonder
I was on MRT this morning, wearing mismatched slippers with a formal looking outfit. I had no choice. I had left my heels in office in a haste to get to the tutorial rooms yesterday, hence my weird lookingness this morning.
To top it off, I was super duperly sleepy, as I sent princesse off to Shanghai late last night, rather, it was early, early this morning. I don't know if it was the way I slept, the way I looked whilst I slept, or was I drooling (don't feel wet though!), but this fella opposite me was looking at me with wide-opened wonder when I woke up due to the jerk of the MRT. BUT, I just didn't care! You could look all you want! I need sleep! I finally woke at Boon Lay, again to his wide-opened wonder look. Alright, probably he just has that kind of look!
My mind was filled with what princesse told me yesterday on her trip to Bangkok, hill tribes to visit the churches there. I was utterly encouraged by the testimonies, stories and experiences shared. What really, really encouraged me was - princesse has grown up! I was so warmed by her stories the whole night, if not for that early boarding time on SQ, wished we could talk so much more.
Simple stories, and simple heart of serving our loving God.
A pastor in the church had a very bad curvature on his leg, making it so hard for him to walk. Yet, he looks at it as an encouragement to others instead of a flaw. For with his physicalities, he serves the Lord wholeheartedly, why not the rest? "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 1 Cor 12:9
In a village with no electricity and proper water supply, a pastor consistently visited his neighbour to share the goodness of God. How? By walking 20KM of terrain to the neighbouring hilltribe. He did so for two years, and finally, saw the neighbours coming to experience the love of our Lord. I'm touched by that simple heart to bring across the love of God to the others. Despite all the lousy infrastructure, long distances travelled, outcaste treatment (natives of hilltribes are termed to be a lower status than their city counterparts), they all had one commonality - to love Him with all their heart, all their soul and all their strength and all their mind.
To top it off, I was super duperly sleepy, as I sent princesse off to Shanghai late last night, rather, it was early, early this morning. I don't know if it was the way I slept, the way I looked whilst I slept, or was I drooling (don't feel wet though!), but this fella opposite me was looking at me with wide-opened wonder when I woke up due to the jerk of the MRT. BUT, I just didn't care! You could look all you want! I need sleep! I finally woke at Boon Lay, again to his wide-opened wonder look. Alright, probably he just has that kind of look!
My mind was filled with what princesse told me yesterday on her trip to Bangkok, hill tribes to visit the churches there. I was utterly encouraged by the testimonies, stories and experiences shared. What really, really encouraged me was - princesse has grown up! I was so warmed by her stories the whole night, if not for that early boarding time on SQ, wished we could talk so much more.
Simple stories, and simple heart of serving our loving God.
A pastor in the church had a very bad curvature on his leg, making it so hard for him to walk. Yet, he looks at it as an encouragement to others instead of a flaw. For with his physicalities, he serves the Lord wholeheartedly, why not the rest? "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 1 Cor 12:9
In a village with no electricity and proper water supply, a pastor consistently visited his neighbour to share the goodness of God. How? By walking 20KM of terrain to the neighbouring hilltribe. He did so for two years, and finally, saw the neighbours coming to experience the love of our Lord. I'm touched by that simple heart to bring across the love of God to the others. Despite all the lousy infrastructure, long distances travelled, outcaste treatment (natives of hilltribes are termed to be a lower status than their city counterparts), they all had one commonality - to love Him with all their heart, all their soul and all their strength and all their mind.
Monday, November 7, 2005
Of Beauty Regimes & God
When I was beleaguered and bitter,
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.
You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
GOD is rock-firm and faithful.
Ps 73:21-26 (MSG)
Something that caught my attention today...a dumb ox in your very presence - something very true to me...I am just like that at times.. don't get the full picture, but keep going head-strong...using brute force, speech, etc. After it all, I'd just take a step back, and then literally LAUGH at my foolishness. And, I'm doing all this in the presence of a holy God. His patience is just so great.
In NIV, verse 26 reads, My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. In the message version, how direct and clear cut...skin sagging and bones gettin brittle (2 of the fears of women), He still remains firm and faithful.Irregardless of what I am like inside (my heart attitude) and outside (how I look). Indeed, that's all I need. That assurance from Him. That very acceptance.
Essence to keep me going and admiring the beauty of the works of His. A moment with Him in the morning, brings me a long way.
totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox
in your very presence.
I'm still in your presence,
but you've taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me,
and then you bless me.
You're all I want in heaven!
You're all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
GOD is rock-firm and faithful.
Ps 73:21-26 (MSG)
Something that caught my attention today...a dumb ox in your very presence - something very true to me...I am just like that at times.. don't get the full picture, but keep going head-strong...using brute force, speech, etc. After it all, I'd just take a step back, and then literally LAUGH at my foolishness. And, I'm doing all this in the presence of a holy God. His patience is just so great.
In NIV, verse 26 reads, My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. In the message version, how direct and clear cut...skin sagging and bones gettin brittle (2 of the fears of women), He still remains firm and faithful.Irregardless of what I am like inside (my heart attitude) and outside (how I look). Indeed, that's all I need. That assurance from Him. That very acceptance.
Essence to keep me going and admiring the beauty of the works of His. A moment with Him in the morning, brings me a long way.
Friday, November 4, 2005
Reminisce
The clock struck ten past five, and I made my way to prepare some soup for some people mugging in the south spine of where I was working. It had been some time since I have made such soup, and seriously, I was just hoping that the prayers work - that He will help me make good soup, or else, at least protect their stomachs, or even better, provide them with taste buds that won't tell that the soup tastes bad!
An hour later, it was ready, and I made my way to the place. It had been some time since I have walked the corridors of this familiar place. The reddish rectangular tiles, the black benches along the lecture halls, the dim lights and the never-ending carpark. I had spent some good three years in this place studying. Each nook had a story to tell. One which brings me back to the various project discussions, another the haven of all of most of us where we rushed our FYP, yet another where my bimbo HR group surprisingly managed to come up with some commendable presentations. Yes, it was all coming back to me.
I reached the place, greeted by some familiar faces and some not so familiar ones. It was good to see them once again. The examination period is a time where the family bonding in this group grows by leaps and bounds. The whole place looked like a home - hot water flasks, sleeping bags, and the well - stocked "provision stall" marked the decor of the seminar room.
After some chatting, guitar playing, crapping and all that sort, here I am, typing out the very thoughts that came. Here I am, sitting in a tutorial room where I used to have my lessons, only now that, I am blogging instead of preparing my reports. It's all so different now. How I wished I was back studying again.
It was good memory though....
An hour later, it was ready, and I made my way to the place. It had been some time since I have walked the corridors of this familiar place. The reddish rectangular tiles, the black benches along the lecture halls, the dim lights and the never-ending carpark. I had spent some good three years in this place studying. Each nook had a story to tell. One which brings me back to the various project discussions, another the haven of all of most of us where we rushed our FYP, yet another where my bimbo HR group surprisingly managed to come up with some commendable presentations. Yes, it was all coming back to me.
I reached the place, greeted by some familiar faces and some not so familiar ones. It was good to see them once again. The examination period is a time where the family bonding in this group grows by leaps and bounds. The whole place looked like a home - hot water flasks, sleeping bags, and the well - stocked "provision stall" marked the decor of the seminar room.
After some chatting, guitar playing, crapping and all that sort, here I am, typing out the very thoughts that came. Here I am, sitting in a tutorial room where I used to have my lessons, only now that, I am blogging instead of preparing my reports. It's all so different now. How I wished I was back studying again.
It was good memory though....
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Nothin' but the whole truth
" U just let all ur emotions take over now....Ur emotions r eating up everything of u..And much of it isn't even true!"
Yup, how true it is. I needed it. Thank you for being so frank with me, and putting up with all my nonsense.
I am really blessed to know you.
Yup, how true it is. I needed it. Thank you for being so frank with me, and putting up with all my nonsense.
I am really blessed to know you.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Mum & me....Again...
Sometimes, I wonder if I should've taught my mum how to SMS...
She went for her doctor's appointment today for her fractured wrist..and well, here it goes:
Mum: me need to go for physiotherapy..
Me: oh? When?
Mum: don't know yet
Me: ok, you can start moving your fingers more then..
Mum: doc says can play mahjong
Me: (purposely ignorant) which type? electronic?
Mum: do you know the meaning of exercise?
Me: ok, we shall play mahjong then!
Mum: forget it, you got not much money
Me: ... ... ....
She went for her doctor's appointment today for her fractured wrist..and well, here it goes:
Mum: me need to go for physiotherapy..
Me: oh? When?
Mum: don't know yet
Me: ok, you can start moving your fingers more then..
Mum: doc says can play mahjong
Me: (purposely ignorant) which type? electronic?
Mum: do you know the meaning of exercise?
Me: ok, we shall play mahjong then!
Mum: forget it, you got not much money
Me: ... ... ....
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Mugging Time!!!!
This is what happens at NTU each time it is the EXAM SEASON!! The Canteen becomes the students favourite home....for MUGGING!! (the group above looks happy though)
But..some...need more Tender Loving Care......=p
There she goes...
She walked into the room, all filled with the warmth and sweetness of what she could ever dreamed of. The people whom she had thought were the best in the world. People whom she thought that she could spend a wonderful time with. It was as though she had came back from a faraway land, to be received back into the arms of people whom she loved, and who loved her.
Yet, as she walked further in, as she talked with them, it was as though the thoughts she just had was a fleeting moment of euphoria. A moment in time to hold, just for that moment. The warmth melted, the place became cold. The feelings faded, the closness vanished. It was all just an illusion. All in her thoughts. Thoughts that was built on the past. The past which she thought was so, but was it really so?
Reality, always seem so different. It is different. That was the ideal. The reality has quite a way to go from the ideal. Yet, without the ideal, there is no way to reach what we want in reality. Oh, whatever the matter. We still need to hold onto the ideal. Another round of complication? Yeah, I think so.
Yet, as she walked further in, as she talked with them, it was as though the thoughts she just had was a fleeting moment of euphoria. A moment in time to hold, just for that moment. The warmth melted, the place became cold. The feelings faded, the closness vanished. It was all just an illusion. All in her thoughts. Thoughts that was built on the past. The past which she thought was so, but was it really so?
Reality, always seem so different. It is different. That was the ideal. The reality has quite a way to go from the ideal. Yet, without the ideal, there is no way to reach what we want in reality. Oh, whatever the matter. We still need to hold onto the ideal. Another round of complication? Yeah, I think so.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Complicated
Why commit so much into something, when the commitment doesn't seem to yield the results that one is looking for? Then again, the results are of a system of thoughts that doesn't belong to me.
You put in so much thought into wanting to change something, only to know that somehow, that something has changed the perspective of the environment. A sense of insecurity, betrayal, disappointment. The something has won the votes of another, only for me to be left in a sense of utter disillusion.
Yes, hard to understand? Now, I'm making sense of things. The uniqueness of each one of us.Complicated.
You put in so much thought into wanting to change something, only to know that somehow, that something has changed the perspective of the environment. A sense of insecurity, betrayal, disappointment. The something has won the votes of another, only for me to be left in a sense of utter disillusion.
Yes, hard to understand? Now, I'm making sense of things. The uniqueness of each one of us.Complicated.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
SMS Dialogue bet Mum & me
Somethin' between mum & I via sms tis morning.....=P
Me: Mum, this birthday, can you pay ur hp bills tis mth as a gift to me? hehe
Mum: Why? You broke ah?
Me: Nope, planning to go on a trip, so slightly tight this month, but not cfm lar
Mum: Why dun u find a good man and settle down first. u can travel later
Me: .......................
Me: Mum, this birthday, can you pay ur hp bills tis mth as a gift to me? hehe
Mum: Why? You broke ah?
Me: Nope, planning to go on a trip, so slightly tight this month, but not cfm lar
Mum: Why dun u find a good man and settle down first. u can travel later
Me: .......................
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Giant Slippers, Geraldine N me!
We met, we ate, we talked....and talked.....and talked.....
Time flies, it's been one year since we graduated. Thank God for MSN that we still can keep very much in contact! My working partner..just that she is in Raffles place, and I'm in 鸟不生蛋的 western most end of Singapore.
This's a friend who has been by my side in support. Though never meet up often, but appreciate the efforts she puts in to show concern for my life and all that. Yup, this is dedicated to you. Thanks dear! =)
Time flies, it's been one year since we graduated. Thank God for MSN that we still can keep very much in contact! My working partner..just that she is in Raffles place, and I'm in 鸟不生蛋的 western most end of Singapore.
This's a friend who has been by my side in support. Though never meet up often, but appreciate the efforts she puts in to show concern for my life and all that. Yup, this is dedicated to you. Thanks dear! =)
Tis's for you....He knows what He's doin in your life! 
That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Rom 8:28 (msg)
Monday, October 10, 2005
WaShin MaChines
"Hello! Ask you ah, what's the diameter of the tubing for your place's washing machine?"
I was caught by surprise who on earth was it. Didn't say who he was, just asked the question. "I gotta go measure lar...how to know off hand?" It was my colleague from the other hall....ha...the crappy one..
Yup, and in the end I went to measure....2 inches...so, that's the size of a washing machine's tubing...interesting.
Yes, the most minute of things...yet...the most important.....new washing machines coming in soon....(=
I was caught by surprise who on earth was it. Didn't say who he was, just asked the question. "I gotta go measure lar...how to know off hand?" It was my colleague from the other hall....ha...the crappy one..
Yup, and in the end I went to measure....2 inches...so, that's the size of a washing machine's tubing...interesting.
Yes, the most minute of things...yet...the most important.....new washing machines coming in soon....(=
Sunday, October 9, 2005
(= Birthdays!
There are things that I know I should do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Tough...my mind and my heart find it so hard to coordinate.
Anyway, we celebrated Dingting and Meiling's birthdays last saturday at PS Cartel. What caught my attention was this "cake"! (in comparison to that container of dairy milk - my God..huge isn't really a good representation of it, and on the right - the dice used to "sabo" DT & ML)
Anyway, we celebrated Dingting and Meiling's birthdays last saturday at PS Cartel. What caught my attention was this "cake"! (in comparison to that container of dairy milk - my God..huge isn't really a good representation of it, and on the right - the dice used to "sabo" DT & ML)
Why are the two of them sooooooooooooooo serious? What's the news?!
This one...should be ba gua news!
Actually, it was their sheep's dedication to them...recorded on a SE phone....too soft!
Friday, October 7, 2005
Friday
The weather ain't that warm, but I am. I think, I might have lost quite a lot of water whilst on the way up to the Finance Office. Uphill climb from the foot of the hill. Oh, if you haven't realized, my office is located at the foot of the hill, and the Administrative offices are seemingly all quite high above sea level.
Walking over, I paid a visit to my ex-colleagues. They were surprisingly dumb-founded when they saw me. Irene, my dear colleague there said that I look very havoc-girl now...whatever that means.
Met Joe there too...sometimes, makes me wonder if I should have introduced him to the job. He seems happy, yet, like not so happy. Hopefully, he start to see things differently, I hope. He's really a very nice chap, and I think, a good helper to Irene, especially when she was on maternity leave.
Anyhow, it was a good, short reunion. It's my first time after so long talking with Irene. Really miss her voice...very saccharine sweet. =)
Walking over, I paid a visit to my ex-colleagues. They were surprisingly dumb-founded when they saw me. Irene, my dear colleague there said that I look very havoc-girl now...whatever that means.
Met Joe there too...sometimes, makes me wonder if I should have introduced him to the job. He seems happy, yet, like not so happy. Hopefully, he start to see things differently, I hope. He's really a very nice chap, and I think, a good helper to Irene, especially when she was on maternity leave.
Anyhow, it was a good, short reunion. It's my first time after so long talking with Irene. Really miss her voice...very saccharine sweet. =)
Wednesday, October 5, 2005
No Rhyme Nor Reason
I walked through my house door, threw off all the stuff on my hands - paper bag, handbag, key pouch, and whatever nots, I slumped onto my bed, only to find that my sheets were changed! mmm.....smell of clean sheets were great!!! Grandma dearest had washed my bedsheet! Such lil' things she does just make me go....mmmm....*smiles
It has been quite a roller-coaster ride in my feelings of late. The emotional department of my heart had decided to do quite a fair bit of OT...which I dread...yet, it had to be so...some things just come, and they keep coming too!! grr...
Anyway, life's never a bed of roses...just that I am taken by surprise by the thorns I have experienced this year. Those thorns were good though. It was required, something that I did not regret going through this year. This is probably one of my most memorable year. Though not all memories were sugary sweet, coated with chocolate rice...ooh, I'm thinking of food again...but yah, they were strengthening.
"Life's never a bed of roses,
so let's hold on to all of God's promises,
just like our big brother moses."
A sudden inspiration to write the above...no rhyme or reason..haha..
It has been quite a roller-coaster ride in my feelings of late. The emotional department of my heart had decided to do quite a fair bit of OT...which I dread...yet, it had to be so...some things just come, and they keep coming too!! grr...
Anyway, life's never a bed of roses...just that I am taken by surprise by the thorns I have experienced this year. Those thorns were good though. It was required, something that I did not regret going through this year. This is probably one of my most memorable year. Though not all memories were sugary sweet, coated with chocolate rice...ooh, I'm thinking of food again...but yah, they were strengthening.
"Life's never a bed of roses,
so let's hold on to all of God's promises,
just like our big brother moses."
A sudden inspiration to write the above...no rhyme or reason..haha..
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